Thursday, December 23, 2010

Confession


Missing:

1. His cookings (crab curry, chicken chops, mutton curry, thosai...)
2. Opening door for him after work.
3.Attending his phone calls although it was mostly meant only to ask if i have eaten
4. Eating Ipoh Kuey Teow Soup at Chai Leng Park
5. Getting him a can of beer and refusing to give another one.
6.Riding motorbike with him in 120.
7.Listening to anbe anbe (kathal desam song) in the car with him.
8.Singing oldies with him.
9.Eating ice cream in the car.
10.Asking him to choose my stuffs.
11. Buying shirts for him.
12. Arguing with him.
13.Wake him up in late afternoon.
14.Folding his clothes.
15.Sewing buttons for his shirts.
16.Go shopping to the same supermarket, again and again.
17. Lying to him and got caught immediately.
18. Collect cents which falls from his pocket.
19.Serving food to him during his lunch hour.
20.Talking about my studies to him.
21.Complaining about everything over phone and face-to-face
22.Making face to him, everytime he used to be late to fetch me.
23.Travelling to KL with him.
24.Going Shivan temple and see him meditate
25.Hearing his story about meditation.
26.Chatting in ferry with him.
27.Teaching him on how to use computer.
28.Hearing him talking about 4D.
29.Commenting about all food he took.
30.Helping him to do wiring, plumbing, what so ever.

My list is even longer to describe about the moments I had with my father.
My only regret is I never get to say 'Appa, I love you'.
My greatest disappointment is I never got to hear any last message from him.
My saddest moment ever is when his coffin left me forever though the whole night before I never moved an inch away from his coffin. I was hugging it in a cold and heavily raining night.
My deepest secret is I am missing him every moment.
My big weakness is I cry whenever I come across anything, may it be memories,objects,songs, that reminds me of him.
My hidden truth is that I am deeply hurt,lonely and sad, deep inside my heart.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Curry Has A Story To Tell

Many Malaysian hearts love curry, and that explains why you often see these fans crowding ‘Mamak’s Corner and Banana Leaf Restaurants. Eating with curry is easy, cooking curry is relatively easy too. Anyway, I’m not intending to be the chef of the day by providing you some cooking recipes here. My cooking recipe will remain as a secret, hehe. Well, I’m going to give you more than that because I’m about to reveal the secret of making delicious curry to you.
Let’s start our curry with the choice of pot because the idea here is that, you certainly need a pot to cook curry. Talking about pots, they come in various sizes. Sometimes, you got an opportunity to choose them, sometimes you may not. However, you can’t give up cooking curry just because you didn’t find the right pot. That’s silly. Pot is like our life. Destiny decides your life. If you are given a small pot, you might have a simple life. If you are given a better spacious pot, you might have an average middle class life. Even better, if you have all sizes of pots, you are so called affordable. Now, these pots only suggest our current capability and they are always changeable in future. You might be able to afford better pots in future. While waiting for better pots to arrive, we can make learn to make out curry sizzling in existing pots. Remember, tip number one, pots never going to affect your curry because if you’re a good cook, a pot will just be a medium to prepare the curry.
Now, let us turn on the fire and let the oil heat. Oil is our choice, too much will make the curry oily and if too less you can’t fry the onions. When cooking curry, it’s all about tolerating, it’s about devotion, and it’s about love. When we have elderly parents, we consider their health problems. When we have spouses, we try to prepare healthy meals to avoid them from health problems, though not many spouses may understand our intention. When we have children, we want our food to provide them enough nutrition to grow healthy. So, choice of oil represents tolerance because we are always our life with other peoples, namely worldly relationships.
Then, onions, kids are not going to like them but this Allium cepa plays a big role in preparation of healthy curry. Let takes a simple one, it protects us from common cold though I bet onions never brag that they have anticancer and antioxidant properties. Curry is nothing without spices. I call these onions and spices as responsibilities. Everyone, from kid to elderly, have our own responsibilities. In fact, our life is running on the basis of responsibility. I used to go to school because I was told to go to school by my parents. I suffered there for a quarter of my life, and still suffering in university. Some of my graduated friends are lamenting about their career life. My kid friends are lamenting about homework and my uncle-aunty friends are complaining about daily medicines. Hectic, nobody likes responsibilities but they are good as they make our life move on purposefully. Just like the spices and onions, they appear to be pungent at the beginning, but at the end they save my curry.
Main dish affects my curry too. The way of cooking fish curry is different than of chicken curry. I cook what I can afford, sometimes what I like. Often poor families survive on dried anchovies’ curry. I can say that sometimes it is the best curry ever, better than more expensive mutton or chicken curry. Main dish means love, and it explains that love is better shown on action than words. Love for family members, friends and special ones are priceless. It emerges through sincerity right from the bottom of heart. With love, my curry will always taste better to my loved ones, no matter even when it has only vegetables in it. P.S I’m referring to my favourite ‘Venthiyam curry’.
Curry is impossible with curry powder and there are a big variety of them in the market. Which one to choose? Choice is yours and often the choices are very much individual. I might feel this is better, and you might think this is so not your taste. Whatever it is, we need curry powders, that is the reality. Curry powder is like perception. Everyone has different perception about life and things in life. There is no right or wrong perception, but our life is dependent on our perception. Sometimes it is to come out of our ‘perception’ shell and explore more about the truth of other’s perception. It will enrich our life and lead us to understand others better.
Cooking perfectionists do exist. They want their curry to be as perfect as possible, that they hate other people to interfere their curry business. Yes, I agree that they can make the best curry, but something might still be missing there. I guess it is the fun! Imagine cooking with all the mess here and there and the whole curry session end up in major clean-up. So what? I get satisfaction out of it. My curry might not be the best of the best, but I made my cooking partner happy. I’ve assured him or her, that he or she, hmmm not bad at all. I like to hear when people praise, who doesn’t. I instill confidence in young children that there are good at something. At times, our curry is about making others happy. The satisfaction is guaranteed to be greater than making ourselves happy.
Last but not least, don’t miss the cheapest ingredient yet the most important one which is the salt. Your curry might smell very delicious, but when you taste it and find out that, argggh, it’s tasteless; your curry is almost worthless. Beware to much can murder your curry! The right amount makes your perfect curry perfect. Now, salt is like problems in life. Without problems, life is almost meaningless, in colloquial saying, ‘no kick’. Too much of problems will lead to depression. The best way is yet not to let problems conquer our heart. Remembering Lord as the Doer helps really a lot in dealing with problems.
So what is actually curry? Curry is our heart. The ingredients are our physical and emotional surroundings. We all are actually cooking our curry daily. Experiences make our curry taste better. My curry is very simple, I offer it daily to friends and family. Some appreciates it, some don’t. When they appreciate it, I feel happy. When they don’t, I feel sad because I’m not a saint but I don’t get overwhelmed by that. I know Lord is always a big fan of my curry and He never forgets to visit my Restaurant. Ever grateful for His Grace.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Best Lyrics from the 80's, when Tamil Lived Really High.

Best lyricist ever lived in 80’s in Tamil music industry. The songs were superb in both music and lyrics. However, you need a passion to dwell in them. When you do, you will start associating them with your life. Music is magical, good lyrics adds spice to it. These are lyrics with their meaning from my perception. The lyrics are indirect, so they can actually mean anything. Depends on how you perceive it. These songs are very meaningful for me as it reminds me of many things. Anyway, if you have different perception, you are most welcomed to share with me.
1. Enna Sattham Intha Neram
Kannathin Muthathin Eeram Athu Kaiyevillaiye
Kangalin Yen Anthe Kanneer? Athu Yaarale?
Kanniyin Kazhuthey Parthal Maanam Aagevillaiye
Kathalan Maadiyil Poothal Oru Poo Pole
Mannavane Un Vizhiyal Penn Vizhiyei Moodu
Atharava Sainthuvittal Aariraro Paadu
Aariraro Ivar Yaar Evaro
Pathil Solvar Yaro?

Song Theme: Relationship
Meaning:
1. Trust placed by a girlfriend on her boyfriend.
2. Trustworthiness of a boyfriend.
3. Love is not about saying goodbye during difficult periods.
2. Raja Raja Cholan

Kannodu Kangal Etrum Karpura Theebame
Kai Neethum Pothu Paiyum Minsarume
Ullase Medhei Mele Orranga Nadagam
Inbangal Paadam Sollum En Thayagam
Ingu Angu Unjalaga Naan Pogiren
Angu Angu Aasai Theeyil Naan Vegiren
Mondru Aaga Moganam
En Kathal Vaganam
Senthamarai Senthen Maazhai
An Avee Neeye Devi….
Raja Raja Cholan Naan..
Ennai Azhum Kathal Desam Neethan..:)
Song Theme: Unpredictable life
Meaning:
1. We meet many choices in our lives; sometimes it’s hard to make decision on which one is the best. This happens even in somebody’s love life till some forget love isn’t much about choosing. Again we are human beings.
3. Keladi Kanmani
Neengathe Baram En Nenje Oduthan,
Naan Thedum Sumaithanggi Nee Allava,
Naan Vadum Neram Un Marvoduthan,
Nee Ennai Thalathum Thaay Allava.
Yetho Yetho Annanthe Raagam
Unnal Thane Undanathu
Kaal Pona Pathaigal Naan Pona Pothu
Kai Serthu Nee Thane Mei Serthe Maathu…

Keladi Kanmani Padagen Sangathi
Nee Ithai Kerpathal
Nenjil Oru Nimathi
Naal Muzhuthum Parvaiyil Naan Ezhuthum
Or Kathaiyei Unakena Naan Kura

Song Theme: Sincere appreciation to a lover
Meaning:
1. Thanking his lover for changing his life for better.
2. A good lover can play many supporting roles in one’s life, most importantly as friend in need.
4. Sinna Pura Ondru
Madimel Thavalthen
Maarunal Vaarai Naaan
Maraven Maraven Un Aanai
Nee Illaye Ingu Naan Illaye,
Enthan Raagangal Thungathu,
Avai Raagangala Illei Sogangala?
Sollamma…
Sinna Pura Ondru Enthan Kanavinil
Vannam Kedamile Vazhgindrathu
Ninaivil Ulavum Nilal Megham…
Song Theme: Heartbreak
Meaning:
1. Promises are common in love life, but the question is how many kept their promises?
2. Love may stay even after separation. When you love somebody, it’s better to let them go towards their happiness. Love isn’t about compelling anybody over anything. If you force one onto you, you might be buying love. It can be very different than earning love.
3. Love may come to an end but memories are eternal. Sweet memories will ever stay in mind.
5. Nalam Vazha

Kizhakiley Thinam Thondrum Kathiranathu
Maaraivathu Pinbu Uthipathum Maravanathu
Kadalgalin Uruvagum Maazhaiyanathu
Vizhuvathum Pinbu Ezhuvathum Eeyalvanathu
Nilaviney Nambi Iruvugal Illey
Vizhakungal Kaatum Velichathin Ellai
Oru Vasal Mudi Maru Vasal Veipan Iraivan
Song theme: Motivation
Meaning:
1. Life is not always easy but we are capable of overcoming difficult period. It’s our innate ability, provided flexibility from God.
2. Life has its fall but remember you will rise too as fall can’t be forever. It is just like the moon which disappears on a day and back emerging on another. It is just like the rain droplets which falls to the earth and evaporates back to form clouds.
6. Kalyana Maalai
Koovungindre Kuyilei Kuttukul Vaithu Paadendre Sonnal Paadathamma
Sozhai Mayil Thannai Sirai Vaithu Puthi Aadenru Sonnal Adathamma
Naal Thorum Rasigan Paarathum Kalainjen
Kavalgal Enaku Illaye
Sogangal Enakum Nenjeodu Irukum
Sirikathe Naal Illaye
Thukkam Sila Neram Pongi Varum Pothum
Makkal Manam Pole Paduven Kanne
En Sogam Ennoduthan…

Song theme: Lifetime Advice
Meaning:
1. Things can be best done with our own interest. It can be hard to get committed into something that we don’t like.
2. Sadness is part and parcel of life. However, that doesn’t mean we have to live our life in sadness. Life is God’s decision. However, the choice on how to live it is ours.
3. People prefer happiness, sometimes it is good to keep our sadness to us and make others smile and laugh.
7. Sangeetha Megam
Sangeetha Megam Thean Sinthum Neram
Agaya Pookal Thuvum Kalam
Naalai En Geethame Endrum Uzhavume
Endrum Vizhaveh En Vazhvile

Pogum Pathai Thurame
Vazhum Kaalam Konjame
Jeeva Sugam Pera Raaga Nathiyinil Nee Nindava
Intha Thegam Marainthalum
Isaiyal Malarven
Kezhai Poo Maname

Song theme: Ambition
Meaning:
1. Keep hope and stay ambitious. Live life with faith that one day you will be successful
2. Life journey is long but life isn’t long. As long as I live, I will strive for my ambition and conduct my life ethically. I believe my dedication will be ever spoken even after my death.
8. Yen Iniya Pon Nilaveh
Pon Maalai Nerangaley, En Inba Raagangaley,
Povana Kolangale….
Then Katrin Inbangale, Thean Aadum Rojakale
Ennenne Jaalangaley…
Kannodu Thondrum Siru Kanneril Aadum
Kai Serum Neram Athu En Nenjam Thedum
Ithu Thane En Aasaigal
Anbey…
Song theme: Silent expression of love
Meaning:
1. Falling in love is always beautiful even when the other party doesn’t love you.
2. Love leads life in the paths of hope and positive lover stays so even when his love doesn’t end up with him. Why? Loving someone or not is our own privacy, our right but doesn’t mean other party have to love us too. That’s their right. Earn respect with respect.
9. Eeramane Rojaveh
Neram Koodi Vanthe Vealai
Nee Nenjei Mudhi Veithe Kolai
En Nenjile Ini Rattam Ille
Kanneruke Naan Tatthu Pillai
En Kathali
Un Pole En Asai Thungathu
Kanneeril Thalladuthey Rani…

Song theme: Heartbreak
Meaning:
1. When love fails, we tend to soothe ourselves by placing blames on the other party. It might be wrong but it’s natural, we all are human.
2. Falling in love can be wonderful, but falling out of love can be torturous. Anyway, life doesn’t end there, time cures the wound but dull pain remains.
10. Manram Vantha
Thamarai Melai Neer Thulipol
Thalaivanum Thalaiveeyum Vazhvathu Enna?
Nanbargal Pole Vazhavathuku,
Malaiyum Melamum Thevai Enna?
Sonthangale Illamal,
Bantha Pasam Kollamel,
Poove Un Vazhai Than Enna?

Song theme: Expectation
Meaning:
1. Losing a love doesn’t mean your life has come to its end. Opening our heart again for love isn’t easy either but what if the right person appears? Lessons learnt from previous relationship are to be remembered but happiness from current relationship is to be appreciated.
2. Don’t hurt the person who loves you currently, just because you once got hurt by another person.

11. Poove Poochudava
Aazhaipu Mani Entha Veethil Ketralum
Oodi Naan Vanthu Parpen,
Thendral En Vaasal Theendavillai,
Kannil Venneerey Varpen
Kangalum Ointhathu, Jeevanum Theinthathu
Theeba Theebangal Oyum Neeram
Neeyum Nei Aage Vanthai,
Intha Kanneeril Sogam Illei Endru Annantham Thanthai


Song theme: New hope
Meaning:
1. Sometimes we meet someone who is so special that he or she keeps our life moving on.
2. Losing someone close to us is a terrible situation but if we open our heart from the sadness, we will see light.
3. New hope can be anything. Some people living their life for other people, some living for themselves. In between, they are people who are living for their ambition, career, hobbies and even pets.



Friday, December 17, 2010

Life Lessons, from the window of my heart

1. People likes you better when you are happy than when you are sad.
2. When you face some big problem in your life, many will come to pour sympathy on you, that's when you will be blinded by false hope. Close your door for these people, say aloud that you need 'empathy' not sympathy. If they don't understand how sympathy differs from empathy, ask them to refer to the 'Oxford'.
3. Grief is long process, it changes everything in your life. It takes own hard effort to come out from it. Times eases the pain, but memories are eternal. Once in a while, you just can't stop the tears when these memories pass by your mind.
4. Friends? Nobody worth a friend during grief because they may seem to understand you. but actually they're not and it's not their fault either because they are not experiencing the same. They have their own problems and own life. They don't have time for you.
5. Some, sorry many friends are 'happy' companions. They shun away from you during the period when you're really put into test.
6. Family? Not everyone gets understanding family members. If you does, be grateful to God.
7. Love and relationships is not meant for everybody, especially not when you have found the totally wrong person. So falling in love, is not necessarily beautiful for everyone.
8. We can never change anyone, unless they themselves want to change.
9. When a girl is all alone by herself in this greedy world, that is when she faces all sorts of challenges. Many things are just can't be shared to anybody.
10. A lonely girl has definitely no one to turn to even when she's afraid, Lord is her sole protector and provider.
11. Listening ears are not abundant, especially when you have a really sad story to tell. Many of voiced dissatisfaction will sound like 'complaints' to many ears. Sometimes, it's better to suppress your feelings.
12. Luck is imaginary in some people's life.
13. Some guys out there are very much oppurtunist, they try hard to use a girl's problem to play with her feelings and even in her life. Because they think, who will defend this poor girl? But they don't know that Sai is her protector.
14. Another type of people, just talk whatever without thinking about the practical applications. Some suggestions aren't good, but people will suggest to you because yet it is not themselves who going to do that.
15. Sometimes you will feel like an orphan and you may question 'is there anybody, name just one person who truly care for you', then you will realize that problems are yours, it's none of others business. They don't have the necessity to care for you.
16. Some just do not prefer to have you around, because you're not important in their life. They will only knock your door when they need some favor. During other time, their ears are deafened even when you ask them something.
17. A few like to pour sweet words on you, in which you knew how much is their 'sincerity'. Like sea waves washes the shore, their words are also temporary.
18. A real protector of a girl, is her daddy. When he's gone forever, there will never going to be a substitute. Fingers are not enough to count the amount of people who hurts her feelings.
19.When people want to see happiness, you show them that you are happy. They will believe that, they will be glad and they will ever bother to know if you are really happy. They don't have too, either.
20. Trust nobody but God. He listens...
This is not just created for fun, it is based on very personal experiences. I'm not tagging anybody here, because it is not meant for anybody. If anyone felt hurt, please accept my apology. I'm not pinpointing anybody'd misdeeds. This is just a sharing of feeling.