Life as It Is

I can't wait for May to come its end because I'm tired of living hectic. By next week, I shall be done with Kota Bahru. I'm nervous a bit over some uncertain issues. I'm a traveller and I don't stay. The job had taught me much and now I'm heading towards my first flight. I'm not running out of the country as I'm just flying within the border. I'm nervous if I could catch it on time! Event is planned up to 1 pm, and the departure will be at 12.30pm. That means it's 'rush hour'. I still remember the following conversation between me and Firefly customer service representative:

Me: What if I miss the flight ? Do your insurance covers that?

Him : Well, sorry Miss. That sounds much like your money will be burnt. Boarding gate will be closed by 12 pm. Please ensure you be in before that.

The word 'burnt' keeps on ringing on my ears. I'm worried of whether it will be burnt and oh yea, I'm not sure if I'm ever allowed to claim for this. I never expect my boss to be more generous but wait a minute, I'm a guest. And aren't they suppose to take care of my welfare. I had to book flight because the event will be finished by 1 pm and the buses are only available in night. What I'm gona do till then? I don't mind if it's KL. Then, I reassured myself. That's ok, if nobody gona pay for me, I will. Money comes and goes, at least I'm earning my first flight experience.

This month is really spicy. I started by baking cheese cake, and it did turned up well. Cooking is not my biggest passion, but it helps me to relieve stress. I indulged in learning the arts of baking. Believe me, even the way you beat the eggs will influence on your cake's appearance and texture. Learnt it the hard way though. My family - they just love my invention. I tried grilling chicken too. If you ask me, why ? My new Khind Oven. I love it! It's spacious and convenient. Most importantly, it was very much affordable!

Earlier this month, I found myself craving for internal designing of my room. Hence, I worked hard on the arrangement of the furnitures. I love to admire well-arranged things. It makes me feel cosy, feel home. Part of me really loves home-making. For that reason, I don't think I will hire a maid for my home. I'm a little bit possessive of my belongings. I often feel like nobody can look after my belongings much better than I do. I get great satisfaction in doing so, even though it causes physical exhaustion at times.

I didn't forget of whatever passed but glad to say that they bothered me less. Memories flashed once in while, and I smiled, even for the matters which caused much heartbreak then. Thanks to my hectic schedule. I'm all over northern. I'm having mixed feelings, I love my job but I hate the pressure they give on the sales. I could guess that the government might call me any time from now. People say that government job is ideal but deep inside I'm not sure if that's what I really want. I'm not sure.I like to be productive but yet I hate to feel unstable. Haha, now I'm talking like Julia Roberts in Eat, Love and Pray. I always loved that movie.It was very inspiring that one should chase after his or her dream.

I have much more to write but yeah heard you mom! Time to sleep. I really felt sad over some issues. May made be more aware of how alone I am but soon I realized that I need nobody as long as Sai is with me. People walks in and out of my life. Most of them rarely last even a chapter but I appreciate those 'waterproof' type. No matter what, they stayed for me. I'm thankful. People often admires me for by independence and braveness. Who said woman can't survive without man? Look at me. I go places all alone to the extent that even my mom stop worried about me. I'm not even driving, I'm on public transportation.

May -It's all about Materialism

April had passed and now May has daringly taken over the new chapters of my life. April was spicy when I had to face several disappointments. Loneliness was killing and it was like another phase of self adaptation-all over again. I found myself sinful for forgetting Lord in my tenseful but proactive life. Expenditure was hiking due to unexpected purchases, probably also due to the pressure from inner artist of mine. I always find myself dragged into any forms of art may it be interior designing or even baking.

Beginning of April was promising indeed with early sign of sales. I spent half days of the month on the run. I had landed in the most Northern such as Kangar, as well as to the most central region like Kuala Lumpur. April provided me a golden long-missed opportunity to shop with all my heart. This time I had the buying power, unlike 9 months ago when I was still a student with major economical problem. Yeah, it took me some heart attack too, especially when you have to scrape from your savings meant for other major life issues. Anyway, I felt I just can't miss chances, maybe I will never have a second chance since tomorrow is never mine.

Revathy's theme for April onwards is Classy Chic. So i grabbed the stylish large leopard-skin tote, white colored wedges, tri-colored Hermes wallet, a duplicate Swatch, striking dark purple in color, classic green and neon green nail colors,some classic earrings and long-sleeved purple t-shirt. Away from city fashion away, I even purchased two homely cotton salwar kameez suits. I loved their simple design and unbeatable price. I have received two simply wonderful pieces of Bombay designed comfort kurtis which I bought through online dealer by the end of March. I'm very satisfied because I didn't buy anything for a great price. Everything and simply was worthy and affordable, thanks to my brand-blind attitude, haha.

Classy Chic theme is cool. It makes me to feel more confident of myself. I love to style around looking casual but classy. I prefer long-sleeved attires, as it protects me better from harmful UV rays, along with my SPF product ranges. I would say that investment on SPF products in worthy, even for men, as it protects our skin from irreversible skin conditions. I finally found my perfect BB cream, I guess. I had been having some problem in chosing the BB cream with acceptable shade for my dark skin combo. And I accidentally found Garnier's, which was much lighter than Maybelline's product range. It was cheaper too. I love to use eyeliners but it often gives me the tired look with the smudges, as I always prefer to use the non-waterproof type. I also keep Kohl type. Those are easily removed, and hence would be ideal for a lazy person like me.
My latest make-ups are very simple and rather improved-thanks to CLEO. I opt for Emami's face cream and a layer of BB cream as my base. Then, I apply Maybelline's Volumizing mascara, with black eyeliner occasinonally. I wear classic glasses and so I don't really opt for heavy eye make-ups. Just recently, I found that tangerine lippie matches me well, giving me the ideal nude make-up look. If i wish to have a more confident look, I opt for darker shades such as plum or maroon. I love the rose extract lippie from Elianto as the dark hue really last for long. I end it all with Shilpa's pottu to look Indian. My hair - I prefer the curls to be noticeable. Hence, I place some efforts in styling them wet with soft hair gels and the result remains for several days. Nowadays, I look more semi casual at work, with long-sleeved t-shirts, formal slacks, wedges, bold colored fashion watch and plastic bangles.

Relationships are not for me now, and I don't feel I have met any right person now. Putting fullstop to complicated things was my greatest achievement ever for April. And I really felt very much relieved, back to myself again, reminded me of Zee Avi's I am Me Once More. Well, disappointed though but I deviated my mind into making fruit jelly and baking cakes. And it magically work! I really baked one delicious cake till my newly bought round round burnt. My mum, apparently is the biggest fan of my cake. Then, I met this Tamil movie 'hero' in the middle of March and he appeared again twice early April. This early request for phone number has been rejected and till today he's not seen, haha.

I'm in the midst of making my house a better place to live, physically. Change starts from my own room, as per wished by late father and further highlighted by my mother. I have changed the bed, mattress, comforter and the stand fan. I have purchased a large plastic container to get rid of the unpleasant looking paper boxes. Missing him much recently. I have bought a mini compo for my mum, but yet she still prefers my battery-operated mini radio presented by my dad to me, while I was having sleepless nights at my new single room. I've also bought an oven to enhance my baking interest. I am yet planning to buy a new blender and saucepan for my mum, haha.

Hmm, it's May. Nothing so motivating but I have been called for government interview. Let's see how it ends. I'm being very kind to people, and that's my biggest weakness. Even if I'm ever to leave my present company, I know I will pity my boss. Therefore, I'm trapped in a bubble of mixed feeling! I hope God will guide me well. Sai Ram!

Waiting for April

I don't know why but I felt like March 2012 was overall lengthy. Time passes rather slowly. Perhaps, that's how we feel when we're heartbroken. Anyway, March had much spices in it. The beginning was rather dull as I had to face many of difficult personalities. There was battle with the egoistic ones but recalling my Sai's teaching, I decided to be humble. And that is exactly to forgive, though forgeting is hard. I often feel as if I'm hearing His voice, saying 'Mai, apologize and end the problem, or otherwise you will hurt Sai'.
Sometimes, I tend to ask 'Why me ?' but at another time, I felt proud of my ability in managing the challenging issues. I like myself for being myself. The best part is when I act accroding to my heart's whisper rather than my brain's yell. And I'm sure there will be no regrets, even if I appeared stupid in front of the world.



March is a 'welcome back to my pathethic career life' month. No affection. No excitement. I did felt a lot not appreciated by my superiors. Money is their only concern and my other hard earned efforts went unrecognized. March showed me sadists and hypocrites. And I have to admit expectation do seriously lead to disappointment. Caring for wrong people are not practical. Over-caring is dangerous too, as people can misuse your care. March made me feel like a sad, sad, pathethic woman but sadness isn't new in my life. The deeper I fall, the greater I rise, with the unconditional love from my Guru, my Sai.

My godbro has been a lot caring towards me. He knew I'm a bit tensed and he too worried about myself. He even offered if I want move in to Ipoh and work there, at least I can be closer to him. He topped RM30 for me, perhaps to make me happier. I really appreciate his brotherly love. Well, I seriously don't know what to do. My boss has been threatening me over termination if I fail to show improvement in his highly-expected-sales target. Frankly, I think it will take forever for me to reach there.

Recently, I had met up with my bestie, after a short break. Well, she had grown better in grooming her curls, haha. She said that she is not living any life. It's like work, back home and sleep. I'm doing exactly the same too. At least, she get to practice riding bike for her license. The good news is she is getting better with the skills, and yet she admitted how hard it was in the beginning. She felt pity over myself and decided to make me feel better. She said, 'Reva, not again..'..'I mean why it has to happen to you always.." Regarding my work, she has been pushing me to post my resume to the Jobstreet. The obstacle is my lazy attitude, I'm too lazy to think about future.

Then, we had a long conversation on how bad the world is now, and yeah, I admit, that sounds a lot like 'paati'. We both are seriously afraid of the unseen part of life. For example, what if we have to marry a total stranger ? They can be a drug addict, have HIV, a gay or whatever. As I said before, the world is bad. Both men and women, are becoming shameless, and trying to hide the fact behind the name of modernization. Then, I said that it why we have to opt for pre-marital screening, BP has special promotion for the month :P You can never judge a man by his innocent face.



March has been like a month of attempt, for love affairs perhaps, haha. Firstly, there's this guy who had proposed me earlier last year but I'm not into him. And then he tried again but I haven't changed anything about my decision. Well, this guy is a good person at heart but I can feel some desperation in his approach. And I can feel that his mind is still over his ex- girlfriend. Heart doesn't just pump blood, it generates special feelings too, weirdly it doesn't work the same for every single individual we meet. And I'm not into principle like, be with the one who loves you and whether you love this person back is not as important. I feel it sounds more like a sacrifice, which may lead to frustration or regret in the future. Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly. Do not try to console yourself to accept something, if you are not into it. And I strongly believe, God has created soulmate for everyone, if it is fated.

Secondly, my bestie said, if I want to get to know one of her good-looking and successful cousin. I said, 'Podee'. Thirdly, one of my close colleague showed her interest in introducing me to her close guy friend. I said that I have no problem in making new friendship :) Forthly, a new acquaintance. Roadside acquaintance. This particular guy followed me while I was on my way back home. He wants to be my friend and asked for my contact number. And yea of course, I don't give number to strangers.

Other side of my life, my thesis is getting published in a journal. My supervisor offered me to be the first author. I have accepted her offer but now I'm struggling over the time. Translating a Malay-work to English isn't easy, especially to preserve the essence of the right meaning. Something new? I have been offered to provide English tuition for a girl with hearing impairment. It sounds challenging. Many issues here, from the hearing impairment itself to language barrier. But I decided to give it a try.

March has been fervently calling me into the world of business. I am interested into selling some health products.Well, I have initiated this but I guess my sister is doing the better role. We decided to make a sisterly collaboration. More than this, there has been business calls, even from strangers in bus. Firstly, an elderly uncle was aggressively persuading me into promoting his herbal haircare product while I was travelling to Sungai Petani and another young man was inviting me to attend a talk on new educational device while I was travelling home by bus. I'm not interested in both.


A close of friend of mine has been inviting me into Amway too. The plan was slightly different than previous Amway plans. It requires to continuously consume and build your network. It sounded nice but I found myself lacking of commitment and mobility. Excuses! But I knew myself. I can't stick to one beauty product brand for more than 3 months. Amway has great rewards for the hard-working people. Imagine it is possible for you to own BMW 7 Series. But me, yea me, I'm not looking for a super rich lifestyle. I'm happy with an apartment by beach side. I'm contented with a home-made candlelight dinner with a loved one. Being ambitious and money-minded has never been my greatest interest. Deeply. I'm a romantic humanitarian.

The End of spicy March, curious of what April has for me ...

Love
Me

March Craps

February is over, love mood is gone. No prince charming found either, hehe. What now? Yeah, March. Time to work, work and work, as I can see no special occasion marked on the calender. Oh yea, there are school holidays, but I finished school long time ago. Life has been getting better. Special thanks to my Godfather, Sai:) I hope he will show me of my next mission.

I've been hearing good news from the side of my friends too. Some are getting married, some are getting properties. Thank God for every blessing. Some are still struggling nowhere and I hope God will guide them closely. Heartiest congratulations to dearest JASP coursemates who have successfully graduated. I'm totally happy for all of you, and warmest welcome to audiology job market. Hell ya, it's so different out here but I believe JASPers will shine.

And my family life, is going on as smoothly too. Relationship with my sister is improving, and I'm learning to forgive and forget. We're getting back into the bestie mode, and we're sharing stories and gossips again, even when it comes to guy factors. I've let her to decide her future 'mama', wakaka. I'll let her to interview the probable candidate, gone case! And yeah, we're planning for a beauty parlor visit soon. Yeay! It's time to self-pamper. Lately, we both are into cosmetics, haha. She would shop for the glitters and I would drop for the perfumes. My current favourite, 'Little White Dress', just sweet! It brings out the confidence in me. Things are getting a bit loose when I got into Avon and she got herself to be a part-time tutor.

My mum, will never change. She has two main topics to nag at me, firstly my habit of drinking iced drinks and secondly on my hair. She hates my curls, she would prefer it straight. She said I look messy but I love to be messy, and I think it's sexy. Well, she loves to compare me to my sister, and vice versa. She has been pushing me to use hair oil. She will say how hard it is to live with me, wakaka! She said I should pack up and rent a room. I thought, Oh My God, Weeee!!! Freedom finally! And out of sudden, she started marriage topic. She said she wants to marry me off to someone, then her life would be pretty much easier. Otherwise, I'm seriously learning cooking from her.

My youngest sister, as rigid as she always be. She is in her exam mood, often back home complaining about her headmistress. She said her headmistress is ruining her school life.Imagine you have to write an essay of the importance of co-curricular activities for not attending the sport's practice, kikiki, What pathethic! And I laughed when her teacher directly called home when my sister choose to be absent. I always think that my sister is the best subsitute for my grandmother. She loves to nag as well, and being my mum's best escort, she would just love to spy on me! Haha.

And my friends. Scattered everywhere. My bestie is so into her bike classes, and I miss our girl's outing. She is my best advise giver and my best shopping mate, and there is always much to share within even only few days of separation. Currently, there is something, in which I'm sure she will kill me when we meet again. My other friends, are with their own issues. One has been complaining about his life boredom. Another has to deal with weight issue. My best guy friend is into his final year project, and I can't wait for him to graduate soon and treat me with delicious food! Some are seriously into life, I'm happy to hear that two of my friends have bought their house. My godbro is getting married by the year end, and I'm happy for his love life. A colleague of mine have got his car. God bless them. Extremely happy when another best girl friend, kept away of her ego, and called me, despite of some cold periods between us.

New friends? I meet many new people, maybe because I make friends with every single one that I meet. A new character found in February. Different than the rest, he has his own stubborn lifestyle. He is a good guy but unfortunately lead to the wrong paths of life, maybe due to his companions. I hope God guide him to the best. I didn't help anyone much in February but a lady who has noticed me helping a stranger in hospital, greeted me. She said she used to see me daily, and often she will tell others of how I (Good Girl) helped the poor lady at the hospital. Alas, I get free publicity, but I would prefer if she helps to announce to people that I'm selling hearing aids, instead. Hehehe, business-minded!


Who pissed me off most? Early this month, while I was travelling, I met this old man, who sort of attracted to me. And he said of how a 80 year old man marry a 20 year old girl, and still keeps her happier than a 20 year old guy ever will. What a crap! People from all around the world are getting overly desperate. He offered phone number too, you see! Wakaka, no thanks from my side. Better get someone more interested.

And last but not least, my beloved bosses. Such a wonderful love story. I don't know how I ended up being their personal secretary. But things happens. Imagine getting sms from boss as late as 8 pm, off working hour. And the best part is yet when your boss acts like 'Know it All', eventhough the bloody fact is you know better.It's really hard to work in a place without appreciation. Money is everything, at least in where I work. Tired of masked faces, and I would like to rip off that.

So far life is good. I see almost everyone into their so-called 'happily-ever after' mode. I wonder if I have any, haha. Anyway, I am dependant on no one, except Sainath, my Gurudev. Glory on His name. I would like to offer prayer to all my friends, wherever there are and whatever they do, may Lord bless all of you, now and always. Take care!

Childhood-from the Past

I was chatting with a friend of mine and out of sudden, we're on a very interesting topic which inspired me to write. I don't know how we were driven to this particular topic when we were actually talking about ghost stories. Childhood - a meaningful past in everyone's life. Childhood memories might affect who we're today but as long as we were let to grow up as children,at least as the way children suppose to be, we are all still very lucky. And, it is weird but it is so true that children from different era differs from children from another era. I would like to refresh the memories of the so-called 80's born kids. We were raised up in the era of 80's-90's. I think we had a very special and memorable childhood which we would always like to share to our children and grandchildren.

Our era was just so different than the current era. Everything was different. The food, the clothes, the toys and simply us the children too. We were never as bold as brats from this era. We were scared of 'rotan' when current kids scare off the teachers with laws and human rights. Our childhood toys didn't had anything much electronic or computerized. We played simple toys, as simple as 'batu seremban', using pebbles collected from the roadside. Life was never so complicated. We never knew friendster or facebook when we suppose to be exploring the real world. Our real world consisted of real kids, real toys and real pets instead of the visual ones available in current era.

We don't use sexual terms in our conversation and in fact i believe many of us don't even heard them before. We grew up innocent. Our four letter words were like 'bodoh' , 'babi', 'gila' and etc. Yeah, I admit it is very annoying but it always had its invisible limits. Kids were kids, and we never actually crossed the playful border. Even for those words, some of us had successfully earned a slap or a pinch. We fight with each other, but our revenge had hardly grown into a serious social problem. Even the greatest school bully those days weren't so aggressive. An average revenge would be so-called 'don't want to be friend anymore'.

Apart from real world, we had another world too. And that was the television. Those days 'Astro' was non-existent. So, let's forget about 'Disney, Nickelodeon or Cartoon Channel'. We had fantastic TV1, TV2 and TV3. Even NTV7 was only available pretty much later. Cartoons were so precious that time and it is like a train, that you could just cannot miss. So cartoons were played as early as 8 am and guess what, we children woke up early just to catch it on time. In comparison, children nowadays can even watch cartoon at midnight! Of course we don't know Spongebob or Upin Ipin. We watched 'Popeye, Little Lulu, Ultraman, Ninja Turtle, Power Rangers, Sesame's Street, Keluang man, Along, Barney, Usop Sontorian and whatever the tv plays. Sometimes, our parents rented or bought the videotape of those cartoons. They were no CDs or DVDs. I think VCR player should have became antique in this new era.

Our food was very cheap, and our pocket money was just around Rm1-2 per day. We indulged in junk foods, of course all kids still do. Some of this brands are still in market today but arrgggh the taste is no more the same. Our favourite ice creams never exceeds few cents, I just could not forget the red bean ice cream potong which cost only 20 cents those days and now I have to buy the modernized version for Rm 1. Ice-pop, anybody remembers that? Now that was a must after school during the hot weather. Buy one, break half, symbol of true childhood friendship.

Even our dressing was so different. We didn't have youngsters with 'squirrels' on their head, claiming to be punk. No young boys or girls color their hair. Form 1 girls are suppose to be revising 'Sejarah' at home instead of getting their hair permed and straightened. Our love was not that extreme, most of it does not end up in bedroom. Our love was sweet, I wonder if some of you still keeps the handwritten love letters. Yeah, it was simple, but I always loved the innocence in it. I never found the same in SMS or chat.

Kids of the new era are spoilt. Sweet childhood is tranforming into violence. Parents are one of the main cause. Nowadays, parents are either giving too much freedom or put too much control on their children. Both aren't for good. I think every kids should be given a chance to explore the world, but moderate restriction shall alway be placed on their activities. For example, kids can use internet, but parents should bear the responsibility to activate the family filter to prevent unnecessary social addiction. Let them mingle with real kids, otherwise don't be suprised if they're exchanging contacts with total strangers on the social network.

Sophy misses the past but I know that the golden ear will never repeat. Childhood is everyone's treasure. I offer prayers to those kids who are missing their childhood moments due to sickness, war, abuse and harrassment. Sai Ram!

My Life as a 24 year old LADY

It's difficult and getting even difficult to live a life of 24 year old. It's made difficulty by presence of responsibilities. I'm tied to many things. Hehe, I'm still single but availability is not that easy. After my father passed away when I was 22, life had taught me much about life itself. The main content is that life is nothing but gaining independence and surviving for the title of 'somebody'. It's not easy especially when you are all alone. Many aspects can actually threat you, may it be financial security and even relationships. Thus, you can really expect pits here and there, and the journey isn't going to be smooth after all.

As a 24 year old, I've found many of my friends had already found their love life, mostly are in stable relationship. I'm still in playful mood and I don't find this 'my type of guy' . I guess my prince charming got lost somewhere in his journey to find me, his Princess. Hahaks, not a big deal, I will wait. I don't know if he will ever reach me. So this story is yet to be continued upon his arrival.

And talking about my career life, I can see that it has begun though I don't even have graduated yet. Ears are my business. Hmm, perhaps you might question me, do I need four years to study about ears? Well, actually this four years taught me of patience. The most important lesson was that I actually need to wait before earning the degree. The moral of the story is bachelor of degree is hard-earned. It costs four years of hard work, heartbreak, sleepless nights, scream, yells, and argh whatever it takes. More than all these, a scroll of degree prepares you to be more responsible, expressive and independent.

I'm not sure if I will ever make a good audiologist but I always want to do the best for my patient. At least, I hope I won't make any life-threatening mistake. Patients' satisfaction is my pleasure. I hope I can serve them better in all aspects. But, there's a lot more to learn. Life-long learning never going to stop. I'm still lack of skills but I know God The Provider, always provide me opportunities to make myself better. So I treat every single mistake as an opportunity to make myself better.

Being an audiologist doesn't necessarily mean a boring life. Not if you are an interesting person. Hahaks, I'm interesting, but it takes time and effort to know me better. I love making friends. I'm very talkative. At the age of 24 this year, I have already been dating guys but not anyone in particular whom I've found serious intention of building relationship.Blind dating can be dangerous, especially if you're dating someone from the social network but friends dating is slightly better. Dating not necessarily blooms into love relationship but at least it improves friendship. We get to know our guy friends better. I would describe dating as fun.

My appearance is really important for me and I seriously don't like anybody to downgrade my rights in maintaining those aspects. Appearance carries my confidence. It makes me look reliable in the eyes of my patients. I never bother about spending for personal hygiene and facial products because I always feel that those are good investment. I also has good sense of fashion and I don't really like to imitate others. I believe every woman has her right to be and feel beautiful. Naturally, I'm sexy, and what makes me more sexy is my CONFIDENCE.

In terms of family, the responsibility is just too big especially when you are still jobless and you have a family to look after. I feel I have suffered a lot at this young age. Some call me strong, others tried their best to assure me that my future is going to be better. Well, seriously I don't know and I don't want to keep any blind hope. Whatever may come, will come. Just hoping for my family's survival in this world. Things have been hard ever since my father passed away. We have lost the only bread winner. When you're 24, and you're a girl, you're single and you've lost father your protector, like me, survival is really a big challenge. The world always has its darker side and being cautious is very important.


I'm sad, I'm lonely and I feel insecure. And to distract all these negativity, I turn my mind to God. When we're in calamity, we tend to appreciate God better. My problems lead me to know God better. I've found my Shirdi Sai Baba, my spiritual teacher. Serving Him, is my greatest happiness. I want to help many other people who are suffering just like me with His grace. If i'm ever been endowed with some wealth, I wouldn't hesitate to dwell myself into charity. It is my dream to help women who had lost their source of dependence may it be their father or their husband. I want to build a support group because I knew how it feels to suffer all alone.

At the age of 24, I've decided that I'm not going to be like any ordinary woman, who falls in love, plans to get married and have family. I want to be just slightly different. And I know I'm one in a million.

Confession

Missing:

1. His cookings (crab curry, chicken chops, mutton curry, thosai...)
2. Opening door for him after work.
3.Attending his phone calls although it was mostly meant only to ask if i have eaten
4. Eating Ipoh Kuey Teow Soup at Chai Leng Park
5. Getting him a can of beer and refusing to give another one.
6.Riding motorbike with him in 120.
7.Listening to anbe anbe (kathal desam song) in the car with him.
8.Singing oldies with him.
9.Eating ice cream in the car.
10.Asking him to choose my stuffs.
11. Buying shirts for him.
12. Arguing with him.
13.Wake him up in late afternoon.
14.Folding his clothes.
15.Sewing buttons for his shirts.
16.Go shopping to the same supermarket, again and again.
17. Lying to him and got caught immediately.
18. Collect cents which falls from his pocket.
19.Serving food to him during his lunch hour.
20.Talking about my studies to him.
21.Complaining about everything over phone and face-to-face
22.Making face to him, everytime he used to be late to fetch me.
23.Travelling to KL with him.
24.Going Shivan temple and see him meditate
25.Hearing his story about meditation.
26.Chatting in ferry with him.
27.Teaching him on how to use computer.
28.Hearing him talking about 4D.
29.Commenting about all food he took.
30.Helping him to do wiring, plumbing, what so ever.

My list is even longer to describe about the moments I had with my father.
My only regret is I never get to say 'Appa, I love you'.
My greatest disappointment is I never got to hear any last message from him.
My saddest moment ever is when his coffin left me forever though the whole night before I never moved an inch away from his coffin. I was hugging it in a cold and heavily raining night.
My deepest secret is I am missing him every moment.
My big weakness is I cry whenever I come across anything, may it be memories,objects,songs, that reminds me of him.
My hidden truth is that I am deeply hurt,lonely and sad, deep inside my heart.

My Most Missing Memories~~ ETERNAL ALWAYS

Memories are part of life. Imagine you woke up a day, finding all those memories are gone? I remembered reading Sophie's Kinsella's Remember Me? It's about a woman who got herself into an accident and woke up missing 3 years of memory. Well, that was a shock for her coz before that she used to be an unlucky girl with crooked teeth. Guess what? She woke up finding herself into a beautiful woman, married to a millionaire. She owns Mercedes Benz and Louis Vuitton. However, she's not happy coz her memories were missing. Well, i guess memories are priceless.. So I would like to keep some of my memories here, hehe in case I am fated to have amnesia, later in life.

I miss....

1. My tricyle which gone missing when I was about 7 years old. (That's why I never rode any bicyle after that...It's a sad sad story)

2. Throwing my red hooded doll from 2 floor, again and again until it got dirty. It's name was Radha. (That's why mum decided to throw it away)

3.My first plastic pencil box. It was yellow in color. Inside that I had a green tube glue. And a scissors. ( I hated a girl because of that scissors, haha, yea she seemes to be the school bully)

4. Holding hand with my dad, to the 1st day of school. And keep on peeping whether he went back already. (Of course I know nobody there)

5.The day my father threatens me with his belt. I guess I did something. I don't remember.

6.My early day diwali's. I got new dresses each time, with a lot of laces. haha I like them.

7.The first teacher who praised me for a good essay. It was in Malay. I never liked essays those days, coz I can never finish them on time.

8.The first guy who called me and saying he's my bf. Till now I don't know whose that fella. And who's behind all this. Wait, I'll figure out one day.

9.My first exercise books, and the way my father bought me that was the best.

10. My first actor love- Aamir Khan. And the fact I gotta share him with my bestie. haha.

11.The days we studied in Pn.Seah's Geography class in tremors. Expecting her to scold us at any moments.

12. Miss Lim Saw Bee, who always scolded us manyak, young lady. She always wanted us to behave like ladies and not monkey.

13. I miss the days we talked about the guys we liked in circle. wakaka, even if he only existed in TV telenovela's.

14. Miss fighting with girls over a tv actor.

15.Miss walking to school. Me and my bestie used to run to school coz we always late. We kept on wishing so that the back gate is not closed.

16.Miss the break time we had during my school time. Me and my bestie used to sit next to the pots of plants coz there was no place to sit. AND we had good gossips, haha.

17. Missing the day I spent in beach with my family. Late evening, almost sunset, it was beautiful.

18. Miss riding in car with my father.

19. Missing shopping moment with Melissa, my bestie. We used to shop for at least one similar stuffs during each semester break.

20. Missing the moments i played JUTARIA with my sisters.

21. I miss the moments when these evergreen memories visit my mind :)

Being a Leo Girl :) I always ROARS...

Words to describe Leo Girls:
- Centre of attention (I love being surrounded by friends)

-Natural leaders of her groups (Sometimes I tend to dominate, but I like to get everybody involved as well)

-Lively (Can be moody at times but you will miss my cheerful side)

-Elegant, stylish & classy (I have my own style ;))

-Passionate (I am figurative. I understands your hidden meaning, so beware!)

- Beautiful and sensual (I can sense if you hide something from me, if it's a problem, I would be the most happiest person to help you)

- Love and respects her partner (I know just how to make you happy, don't order me. I likes to be spontaneous.)

-Complete woman who only looks for real man:P (A man in heart preferably)

- Having superior taste (meaningful gifts and please no roadside Mamak stall) ;P

-Loves original and decent compliments. (Any sincere compliments, AND I KNOW WHEN IT'S FAKE)

- Materialistic (I am not money-minded but I look for perfect comfort. At least give me a clean and tidy environment)

-I always think about myself (Yes, I do and I secretly peep into how much YOU think about myself)

-Generous ( My heart easily melt over other people's problems, BUT if You lie to me, be prepared to face the consequences)

-Intelligent (No comments!)

-Extravagent (Yes, I likes to shop and spend, especially if I'm with someone I like. I choose the gift carefully for whoever I care)

-Give me my independence, and You will get yours.

-Jealous and Possessive (Of course, you belong to me, and I need to be responsible over you. BUT I am not OVER-possessive)

-Loyal ( Love is only for one guy, but hehe He shouldn't be jealous of my ex/s) wakakaaka

THE END OF THE STORY!