Confession

Missing:

1. His cookings (crab curry, chicken chops, mutton curry, thosai...)
2. Opening door for him after work.
3.Attending his phone calls although it was mostly meant only to ask if i have eaten
4. Eating Ipoh Kuey Teow Soup at Chai Leng Park
5. Getting him a can of beer and refusing to give another one.
6.Riding motorbike with him in 120.
7.Listening to anbe anbe (kathal desam song) in the car with him.
8.Singing oldies with him.
9.Eating ice cream in the car.
10.Asking him to choose my stuffs.
11. Buying shirts for him.
12. Arguing with him.
13.Wake him up in late afternoon.
14.Folding his clothes.
15.Sewing buttons for his shirts.
16.Go shopping to the same supermarket, again and again.
17. Lying to him and got caught immediately.
18. Collect cents which falls from his pocket.
19.Serving food to him during his lunch hour.
20.Talking about my studies to him.
21.Complaining about everything over phone and face-to-face
22.Making face to him, everytime he used to be late to fetch me.
23.Travelling to KL with him.
24.Going Shivan temple and see him meditate
25.Hearing his story about meditation.
26.Chatting in ferry with him.
27.Teaching him on how to use computer.
28.Hearing him talking about 4D.
29.Commenting about all food he took.
30.Helping him to do wiring, plumbing, what so ever.

My list is even longer to describe about the moments I had with my father.
My only regret is I never get to say 'Appa, I love you'.
My greatest disappointment is I never got to hear any last message from him.
My saddest moment ever is when his coffin left me forever though the whole night before I never moved an inch away from his coffin. I was hugging it in a cold and heavily raining night.
My deepest secret is I am missing him every moment.
My big weakness is I cry whenever I come across anything, may it be memories,objects,songs, that reminds me of him.
My hidden truth is that I am deeply hurt,lonely and sad, deep inside my heart.