Sunday, February 26, 2012

Does He Loves You or Loves You Not







Being in a relationship could be an excellent feeling. Yeah, especially if you are showered with tonnes of care, sweet compliments and maybe some gifts too. Anyway, we're all just human beings and we do not possess any extraordinary ability to read minds. I came across this wonderful author (I strongly believe that he is a man) who shared some good points on how to know if man really loves his woman. And Sophy feels that it makes sense after all! Here's the link for those curious readers. http://accofranco.hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Know-if-a-Man-Truly-Loves-you

The author claimed that a guy who loves you, his feelings will be reflected in his beahvior, expression, passion and actions alike. That means if a guy claims to love you by words, believe me, that's not convicing enough. Look at his eyes and manners. He could have been saying the same to many more women.

Guys in love, would to some extent try to impress you but not aggresively. From personal experience, Sophy feels that guys have their own egoes too and often they cross their border limit for a woman. However, little changes can be expected. Perhaps, you will see him wearing outfits preferred by you or otherwise if he's out of sudden listening to your favourite tunes, at least when you're around.





When in love, guys love to stare at their girls especially when the girls are not aware of it.And being a girl, it's fun to catch those culprit eyes, red-handed. If he loves or admires you, he will try to avoid being caught or if by accidentally you won, he will frown at you. Glancing isn't wrong, but where does the glance goes, to your face or somewhere else? If a guy loves you with a good intention, his glances will be a your face and your hair.

If the guys are showing clear interest on sexual intercourse, that's not love!  If a guy loves you, he consider your feelings and emotions. He will never force you to have sex with him. So, after this, if your says 'Have sex with me, if you really loves me', show him the middle finger and say 'Go to Hell'. Yeah, I've come across some guys who admit that they force the girls into sex in order not to loose their girls. Anyway, Sophy thinks that is an cowardly action. Where is your manhood? Why can't you win her in a better way? If you loves her, you can't force her to love you back, that is persuasion. You're like selling yourself!  If you loves her, you will let her to be happy, wherever she is and whoever she might be with.

A guy in love with you, will try to protect you from any forms of trouble. He will offer help when you're in need. He will get jealous if you're spending time with your other guy friends, well stage of jealousy differs with individuals. He wants to spend time with you and share almost every stories which happened when you're not around. Please note that, he will be himself during this conversation, he will not change his slang, accent or even four letter words. If he's organizing his words and language, then he might not be in love with you. Honesty is the best policy, at least for guys when they found their Miss Right. Trust, is what most men demand from their women.



A guy who loves you, will try his best to make you happy and will not be constantly provoking your anger. He dates you boldly in open places, and not in bedroom or corners. He daringly declares to friends and family, about you. He will be talking about you to most of his friends. And yeah Sophy feels that guys are often simple. They don't commit unless they want to commit.

Lastly, money and love, have no significant connection. If a guy loves to spend on you, doesn't mean that he loves. Rich guys do behave in such manner to impress girls merely. So don't be fooled. Valuable gifts do not carry any meanings, but the intention of the giver is more important. At times, a lollipop carries more meaning than a diamond ring, when it is given with love.

So, girls, yourself are far too precious to be given away as freebies to just any fools. Think before you commit. Change your mind, love is not equal to sex at all. Sex is for fun, and it's just physical. Love-making involves emotions and it only occurs with the right partner. Intimacy in early relationship is a big no-no but that is what happening everywhere. Nobody can love you, if you are not loving yourself. Everybody will use you the maximum, if you're not protecting or speaking for yourself.



Thursday, February 23, 2012

Childhood-from the Past

I was chatting with a friend of mine and out of sudden, we're on a very interesting topic which inspired me to write. I don't know how we were driven to this particular topic when we were actually talking about ghost stories. Childhood - a meaningful past in everyone's life. Childhood memories might affect who we're today but as long as we were let to grow up as children,at least as the way children suppose to be, we are all still very lucky. And, it is weird but it is so true that children from different era differs from children from another era. I would like to refresh the memories of the so-called 80's born kids. We were raised up in the era of 80's-90's. I think we had a very special and memorable childhood which we would always like to share to our children and grandchildren.


Our era was just so different than the current era. Everything was different. The food, the clothes, the toys and simply us the children too. We were never as bold as brats from this era. We were scared of 'rotan' when current kids scare off the teachers with laws and human rights. Our childhood toys didn't had anything much electronic or computerized. We played simple toys, as simple as 'batu seremban', using pebbles collected from the roadside. Life was never so complicated. We never knew friendster or facebook when we suppose to be exploring the real world. Our real world consisted of real kids, real toys and real pets instead of the visual ones available in current era.

We don't use sexual terms in our conversation and in fact i believe many of us don't even heard them before. We grew up innocent. Our four letter words were like 'bodoh' , 'babi', 'gila' and etc. Yeah, I admit it is very annoying but it always had its invisible limits. Kids were kids, and we never actually crossed the playful border. Even for those words, some of us had successfully earned a slap or a pinch. We fight with each other, but our revenge had hardly grown into a serious social problem. Even the greatest school bully those days weren't so aggressive. An average revenge would be so-called 'don't want to be friend anymore'.

Apart from real world, we had another world too. And that was the television. Those days 'Astro' was non-existent. So, let's forget about 'Disney, Nickelodeon or Cartoon Channel'. We had fantastic TV1, TV2 and TV3. Even NTV7 was only available pretty much later. Cartoons were so precious that time and it is like a train, that you could just cannot miss. So cartoons were played as early as 8 am and guess what, we children woke up early just to catch it on time. In comparison, children nowadays can even watch cartoon at midnight! Of course we don't know Spongebob or Upin Ipin. We watched 'Popeye, Little Lulu, Ultraman, Ninja Turtle, Power Rangers, Sesame's Street, Keluang man, Along, Barney, Usop Sontorian and whatever the tv plays. Sometimes, our parents rented or bought the videotape of those cartoons. They were no CDs or DVDs. I think VCR player should have became antique in this new era.
Our food was very cheap, and our pocket money was just around Rm1-2 per day. We indulged in junk foods, of course all kids still do. Some of this brands are still in market today but arrgggh the taste is no more the same. Our favourite ice creams never exceeds few cents, I just could not forget the red bean ice cream potong which cost only 20 cents those days and now I have to buy the modernized version for Rm 1. Ice-pop, anybody remembers that? Now that was a must after school during the hot weather. Buy one, break half, symbol of true childhood friendship.


Even our dressing was so different. We didn't have youngsters with 'squirrels' on their head, claiming to be punk. No young boys or girls color their hair. Form 1 girls are suppose to be revising 'Sejarah' at home instead of getting their hair permed and straightened. Our love was not that extreme, most of it does not end up in bedroom. Our love was sweet, I wonder if some of you still keeps the handwritten love letters. Yeah, it was simple, but I always loved the innocence in it. I never found the same in SMS or chat.

Kids of the new era are spoilt. Sweet childhood is tranforming into violence. Parents are one of the main cause. Nowadays, parents are either giving too much freedom or put too much control on their children. Both aren't for good. I think every kids should be given a chance to explore the world, but moderate restriction shall alway be placed on their activities. For example, kids can use internet, but parents should bear the responsibility to activate the family filter to prevent unnecessary social addiction. Let them mingle with real kids, otherwise don't be suprised if they're exchanging contacts with total strangers on the social network.

Sophy misses the past but I know that the golden ear will never repeat. Childhood is everyone's treasure. I offer prayers to those kids who are missing their childhood moments due to sickness, war, abuse and harrassment. Sai Ram!


LOVE MATTERS




Love, love, love, it's magical in almost everyone's life. Some says that love is blind, yet I believe lovers are blind. Everything which was acceptable in love becomes guilt in marriage. In Hinduism, our ancestors had been fervently practising on the habit of 'match-making' , whereby we have 10 'porutham' (matches).

Following are the matches:

- Dhina Kuta - match for fortune/misfortune/good health
- Gana Kuta - match for character and temperament, to ensure happy life.
- Mahendra Kuta -match for luck through children
-Stree Deergha Kuta - match for financial stability / prosperity
-Yoni - match for sexual compatibility
-Rasi - match for life quality (wealth vs poverty, happiness vs sorrow, health vs disease, unity vs separation)
- Rasi Adipathi - match for affection towards each other
-Vasya - match for co-operation and mutual love
-Rajju - match for strength and duration of married life
-Vedha- match for prevention of affliction or persistant distress.

There are more of these 'porutham', but these 10 are considered vital at this modern age. 5 of these porutham are considered extremely important for marriage. Those are Dhina, Gana, Rajju, Yoni and Rasi.
Dhina and Rajju were seen important as they predict the longevity of marriage and prevents early death of either one of the couples. On the other hand, Gana, Yoni and Rasi symbolize the quality  and the stability of the marriage. If they scores 8 matches or more, the unity is considered as excellent.

Nowadays, arranged marriages are always the last option. Youths prefers their own choice, withdrawing the hassles of match-making from their parents. Love marriage is common, love first, horoscope next and it is usually only for the satisfaction of the elderly in the family. Even when there is mismatch, some couples insists to marry. Some still end up marrying after performing some religious ritual (parikaram). And we can't say that these factors alone will lead to 'happily ever after' life. There is some misconception about match-making, it is never to find a perfect marriage, but it is just an effort to sustain as much as happiness and unity in marriage.

In my opinion, our life is affected by Karma and we have to face what is meant for us. Even 'parikaram' can't help to eliminate but just merely alleviate the effect of the Karma. When parents opt for 10 porutham, I wonder if anyone cared for 'Mana porutham' ? Simply carries the meaning as soul-match. 20 to 30 years ago, women were obedient to their husband's word. Now, with highly educated population on rise, do we still preserve such attitude? Ego grows along with education and career. Men and women are equal. This is when 'Mana Porutham' beats all the rest of the porutham.

Love is rarely eternal in this age. Marriages are often ending in divorces. I think, lack of understanding between the couples are one of the most outstanding reason. You can tolerate your lover, but not your spouse. If you dislike certain charateristics of him or her, don't you see that when both of you were in love? In love, a common mistake is trying to impress each other. I think a better method would be to upset each other. If your weaknesses are visible before unity, better decision could be made in determining if the relationship is to be continued or to be discontinued.

 'Mana porutham' includes your intimacy in sharing happiness and sorrow, ability to sustain difficulties together, ability to complement each other's imperfections, ability to remain loyal to each other, ability to pursue trust on each other, ability to protect each others need and ability to defend each other. Usually, love starts with sexual attraction to opposite gender, but develops deeply into the other aspects.That is what make it beautiful.. However, many of us think differently, such as love is to be together, love is to call each other, love is to control each other and others.



If you're in love, and you wants to marry him/her:

- First ask yourself, why you love him/her? (Often love has no reason. Beauty, sexual need, despair,dependency and pride are example of affection, and not truly love)

- Second, ask yourself, if you're willing to commit? (Analyze the weaknesses first, and think you can tolerate that for the rest of your marriage?)

- Third, if you're a girl, are you accepting him for the way he is? (Girls, be cautious. You're the most significant victim in marriage. You can love any handsome idiot, but when it comes to marriage, choose the one who can make you happy. He should not be afraid of responsibility and pursue some degree of stability in life. If you choose the right person, your children will be thanking you for giving them a wonderful father)

- Fourth, if you're a guy, are you a man yet? (Of course age defines your manhood generally, but your attitude and thinking define it specifically. Are you ready to be the family's head? Can you support your wife's needs? May it be financially, physically or psychologically? Are ready to be loyal? If you're just looking around for sexual pleasure merely, I think you're not ready for marriage, don't commit and suffer later.)

Ok friends, there is neither perfect man nor perfect woman in this world. Everyone has weakness. There is no perfect partner, but a partner who makes you to feel perfect is the best gift in life.Almost everyone has your own soulmate, it's just that you haven't meet him or her yet. Time is the best answer. Anyway, remember, arrogance is the tight enemy in love. If eveything else is fine, at times you have to deal with your own ego. Otherwise, you might have your soulmate walking away from your life.

Stay Loved! Happy Valentine (I believe it is not annually but daily)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Princes from Mars


People are colorful. Each of us comes from different walks of life. And so everyone is actually unique. Guys are different too, so if you girls are dating anyone, check your compatibility first.

- Mr.Emo

He would definitely showers you with tonnes of compliments, eventhough you tries your best to shun him away. He could be lovey dovey in nature and often indulges in flirting. He is definitely very possessive and even smallest joke connecting you to another guy will upset him. Don't try to wake the hurricane hidden behind his bubbly character. It will take hours or maybe days for him to recover. Beware - Extremely Sensitive!

-Dating Pros : Hell ya, he will make you like you're the most beautiful girl in the world, you will be taken to the best restaurants in the town. If he loves you, he does whatever it takes, including helping you to clean your house. He will protect you always. When things get bad, don't be suprised if he cries to you.

-Dating Cons: He would love to control you. So relationships works for most girls who equally love to be under control. He thinks conservatively, so if you're a free thinker, be ready to expect some clashes here and there.

Example of SMS : - 'Until the day I go into the casket, I shall never forgot you baby'
                             - 'Baby, I like your nose, bla3'

-Mr. Positive Thinker

He's one of the type who would love to give assurance that everything will be alright, even when there's no signs of life getting any better. He could be a good listener. He might not be very romantic but he will be practical. He will be honest and thus he will be a good-friend type. Sometimes, he needs assurance from you too, probably in making decisions. At times he will be soothing, at times he can be as boring as your grandda;) My Beloved Counselor.

Dating Pros : You will have an ear to hear your problems. He will not behave like a jealous boyfriend. You can freely chat about your ex-es. And he will laugh and make joke together with you!

Dating Cons : If you're romantic in heart, perhaps you could not see his perception of romance. If you don't like indecisive guys, this guy might not be your ample choice. At times, he can be sarcastic, and so if you're a sensitive girl, arguments can take place.

Example of SMS : -'Don't worry, everything will be fine."
                             -All is well.

-Mr. Ego

He has got ego, and that's the main problem. Usually these types of guys own something really good, may it be handsome features, education qualification, high-paying jobs, nice talents and rarely NOTHING visible. He likes conservative girls, do not like to lose in a argument with a girl. He is the priority always, his job is the best, he knows the best, you should like what he likes. Holy Crap!

Dating Pros : He best suits indecisive and dependent girls. As long as you accepts him as the dominator, you're in the safe territory.

Dating Cons: You're prone to depression and could end up feeling under-estimated. You must ready to hear his greatness and readily compliment him too.

Example of SMS: - 'You're lucky to get me, you know?'
                           - 'Many girls were after me, I rejected all of them'

- Mr.Good Guy

He respects you all the way. Relationship has rule, and you've gotta obey to it. Misbehave? Never in his dictionary. Often shy in nature, although you can't predict how's he like at home. He's often obedient to you. This is the rare species of sweet type of guys. Some of them even potraits gentleman-like attitudes, including opening the car door for you. How Sweet!

Dating Pros: He is good. You don't have to nag at him to leave his bad habits. Your parents definitely will like him.

Dating Cons: If he's too good, you can end up bullying him. Love life could be very boring. Beware of hidden hazards, some guys pretends good, while others have Mr.Hyde personality.

Example of SMS: - 'Honey, take your breakfast ya'
                            - 'Honey, I'll fetch you later'

-Mr.Bad Guy

He's hot but yeah the title says it all, he's bad. He could drink, smoke, fight, drink-drive, or even have slept with girls. In summary, he's spoilt. Responsibility - never exists in his dictionary. Rarely this guys will be approaching you over marriage but if they did probably it's a trick or otherwise the playguy have fallen for you. Then, you will see real life dramas like he's changing, and of course don't believe it at first sight. If he loves you, bad guys will introduce you his friends, parents and willing to meet your mom. Another sign could be, frustration messages from other girls questioning absence of messages and calls from him, haha. Can it love or loyalty? Too Risky!

Dating Pros : He is fun and lively. He almost a man. He will there to fight with you as well as to cheer you up. Plus point, a real 'bad guy' at heart will never takes money from girl. He loves spending on you. Nobody can see you, otherwise they're to get whacked.

Dating Cons : He can be over-possessive at times, as he loves you to be under his control. Commitment, can he real into it?

Example of SMS : -'Syg whr r u and with who?, what r u doing? eat d? what you ate? '
                             - 'You're my pondati (wife)' (this is the answer you're expected to hear when you suggest to be his friend)
-Mr.Desperate

He can sound flirty. He gives you of never-ending compliments even at 3 am in the morning. He could be lonely, therefore he could be desperately looking for a girl to be in relationship. He notices each and everything about you. He loves to talk to you, messages you and might not be giving up even when you're showing clear sign of rejection. Escape!

Dating Pros : Hehe, this is the time to get free sponsor. He will buy you whatever you ask.

Dating Cons : He could be lovey dovey in nature. He gets close to you fast. If you need a space, presence of this guy could be suffocating.

Example of SMS : - 'Dear, you're very beautiful' (10 times repetition)
                            - 'Dear, you're very very beautiful (another 10 times)

-Mr.Workaholic

He's a believer of no money, no honey concept. Dating or working? You already knows the answer. Otherwise, he could be good guy. Probably, a family-man type too. Boredom!

Dating Pros: He is often stable and so you often gets whatever you ask for. He's not good at choosing gift but he's good at paying. When he's in mood, he knows how to be romantic too.

Dating Cons: He's always busy with work. If you could not tolerate with his nature, you will suffer from loneliness and boredom.

Example of SMS : - Sorry sayang, I have to work tonight.
                            - Hello sayang, I'm in the midst of work.

- Mr. Cheap

Their phone numbers are free of charge, you can get them on the second you meet them. They're some expensive version of these guys too, whereby they behave cheap in a relationship including digging his gf's money for his personal use..Disaster!

Dating Pros : He's not expensive, he is affordable. You need someone to talk, just ring him up

Dating Cons : He might use you as his personal financer and blackmail to leave you if decide not to give it.Only dependent women stays with such a guy.

Example of SMS : - I like action movie, let's go for one (even if you're reluctant)
                            - If you didn't give me money, I have no other option than to die (pathethic!)

Mr. Protective

Their really as ample as a man should, and as caring as no other gentlemen will be. He protects you even when you're walking down a pedestrian lane. He buys you food and ensure that you finish them. He ask for what's wrong if your feet is itchy. Lover Boy.

Dating Pros : He's very caring, and whenever you're with him, you will never left lonely.

Datings Cons : Sometimes, he can act like controlling you. In long term, you might long for freedom.

Example of SMS : - Have you taken your medicine?
                             -Have you reached safely?

So girls, where does your man belongs to? There is no body perfect in this world. Anyway, a perfect partner is a partner who makes you to feel perfect. Don't be blindfolded by love. Take your time-the woman in the mirror will be thanking you for your good decision. Be in relationship only if you could tolerate on his bad sides, or else don't be afraid to walk away. A better one is waiting for you.